Growing up in the Era of Conformity & Disillusionment
On February 12th 1946, a beautiful baby named Connie Jean Ward was born (Figure on the Left in Image), in Puyallup Washington, that woman is my grandmother, on my mothers side. So many people are close to their grandmothers, I will tell you this, I am one of those people! My grandmother and I are closer than a bee and honey. She recently moved to Panama, Central America, with my grandfather and I still feel closer to her than ever. Thanks to this worlds technology we are able to video chat every week and stay connected over Facebook.
My Grandmother and I have always had a close connection, ever since I can remember. We've always had the same interests, going to the movies and shopping at old antique stores to fill up our collections, as well as our hobby for painting. Our personalities are also quite similar it's funny, we both have a tendency to be a perfectionist as well as a bit neurotic with the details in our lives. We've always shared the passion for keeping family traditions alive and upholding our great bond with conversation. Every time we talk I undergo this feeling as though I am talking to my future self, with how much alike we are. We always seem to be on the same page and think the same way about certain situations in our lives. We both a very passionate and emotional people and I want to share her life and meaning with others, so that they may know the importance a grandmothers bond can have on her grand children.
My grandmother, Connie, has been through a lot in her life, and most of which I have found out recently. I started out looking into my grandmothers past to know more about this woman that I have looked up to my entire life. Now finding out these hardships that she has had to go through has not changed my views of my grandmother, if anything I see her now as a stronger person than I could have ever imagined, when I get to why, you will understand the great respect I have for her. As I was growing up I knew my Great Grandmother, Margaret Elizabeth Ward (Figure on the Right in Image), wasn't the favorite in the family. Every Christmas when she came to visit we had to put the animals away, because for some reason she hated animals, and as kids we never understood why, so we didn't like it when Grandma Ward came to visit. To add on to the dislike we had for her, she also only ever gave us this weird fruit cake or cranberry-banana bread as a Christmas present, we were kids, so we definitely didn't appreciate that. My childhood was filled with many bad memories of my Great Grandmother, which could seem harsh, but it was just the type of woman that she was.
Margaret Ward had three children Steve the oldest, Dwayne the middle child, and Connie the youngest. When Connie was two her parents separated, they moved to Helena Montana shortly after, from then on Margaret was mostly a single mother, she went through four marriages thinking that she needed a man in her life, but it never really worked out. During this time they were very poor, Margaret was working three jobs in order to support her children and during this period child support from the father wasn't a thing. Margaret finally went through a breaking point, when Connie was still quite young, she sent Dwayne who is 3 1/2 years older than Connie to Seattle to live with their dad and their eldest brother Steve went to live with a friend due to his aversion towards his mother.
When Connie was in Elementary school she went through a tough period trying to deal with the fact that she couldn't have most things that other kids had. When she was in the fourth grade she stole a bicycle, because her mom couldn't afford to get her one and she had to walk everywhere, since her mom wouldn't take her places. She hid that bicycle later on and never spoke of it to her mother, she would have been furious. A few years later her mother had found a used bicycle and gave it to Connie in order to get to and from her middle school, Central Middle School. I remember a story she told me when she was in junior high, she had to walk five miles to school one day during the winter time, and back then the girls had to wear dresses/skirts, they were not allowed to wear pants. That day of school had apparently been canceled but no one had told her, so she walked that five miles to school in the cold wearing a dress and couldn't even get inside the building because it was locked. Thankfully she was able to go to a friends to warm up, but when she had finally returned home she had found out her mother knew school was canceled just didn't mention it. Stories like that make me realize all the reasons why my great grandmother wasn't the favorite in the family, unfortunately.
I was really curious to ask my grandma how her high school experience was, if she had witnessed inequality or racism in any way. She told me that the African American population was a very small percentage in Helena at that time. She continued to explain that she didn’t really witness any racism in her school, she was also the type of person who didn’t read the news, so she didn’t keep up with the activity of what was happening in Montana. She was also unaware about the incidents in the South, and didn’t have those views to compare of how life went on around her. Looking back on it now, she didn’t see those same perceptions towards the African Americans she went to school with. “Everyone was friendly and welcoming towards each other” Grandma said, “There were Black men at the top of their classes, in school elective positions such as class presidents, they would walk by on the streets and be very polite.” My grandmother told me that her mom was the type of person who was racist,especially towards Native American people, because that's how her parents were and that's how she was raised, my grandma said she's not sure why she didn't end up that way too, but she's sure darn glad that she didn't. The way she saw how those people acted were filled with such hate and negativity that she didn't see a reason for it. Why would anyone want to go through their whole life filled with such hatred? What did those people as individuals ever do to you? My grandma did say that she never say any female African Americans in her high school, at that time their parents were more strict about such things, women had less rights, especially African American women.
More into my grandmothers experiences in high school she said she did experience clicks, everyone came into high school from different parts of town and stayed with whom they knew. My grandma was like me in a way where we were the type of person who got along with just about everyone. She had friends from the popular clicks, the nerds, the drama geeks, and anyone else she just got along with. One thing I will tell you is that my grandma always wanted to be a Hollywood star! I did not know this. She performed as the leading roll, Lola Vamp, in the Musical, Damn Yankees. This part was quite interesting for my grandma because the roll was the complete opposite of who she really was, she had so much fun portraying the devil. I wish I had pictures to share from her show, they starred for three nights and I bet she was a hit! After finishing high school my grandma realized being a star wasn't going to work out for her so she had her mind set on becoming a flight stewardess. Her mother, Margaret, was not okay with this, she tried her hardest to get through to her daughter that she was going to be nothing but a house wife and have children. Margaret persisted to Connie that women didn't go to college and that all they were good for was to get married and have babies, with all these horrible assumptions pushed into Connie's mind, she finally gave up on her dream to be a stewardess and just decided in the end to go to business school. She moved in with a family while going to school and ended up becoming their house maid in a way, she didn't have time to do her homework after school with all the work they were making her do so after three months she dropped out.
Not too long after that Connie decided to move to California with her brother Dwayne and his wife. She got a job at the San Francisco Inquirer and this allowed her to go out with her friends and sing at the night club, fulfilling her passion for singing. One night, Connie met a handsome man who got her a bit tipsy, one thing led to another, and a little while later she found out she was pregnant. And on January 22nd, 1966 a beautiful baby boy was born, this is where my Uncle Brian comes into play! Now keep in mind that this was an era where sex wasn't really talked about. There were no sex-ed classes and most parents didn't even speak of such things to their children. It was a period of conservation, where a lot of kids had to find out about sex on their own. Connie was not married when she got pregnant, Margaret (great-grandmother) was furious and tried to pay her to get rid of the baby. The smartest thing Connie did was run away from her mom and fight to keep her child. In my mind that is a very loving mother. She had to go through a lot of hard times since that moment. After a while of living with her brother she was forced to find a place of her own with her son. She managed to scrape by only being able to buy food for her baby. At one point, when Brian was 2 years old, she got accepted into a beauty school in Cali, and was doing great until the last two months of her program. They decided to end the child care program that they were offering which forced her to drop out because she couldn't afford child care. This was the last straw and was forced to contact her mother back in Montana. Finally accepting that Connie wasn't going to give the baby up she decided to help her move back to Montana and Connie moved into an apartment right away.
When Brian was 3, she ended up meeting her next door neighbor, a man named Kennith Thompson. Fast forward a little while later, he proposed to Connie and not knowing what to do she asked her mom for advise. Margaret told her, "You better marry that man, because no one else will, cuz you're used goods!" Connie did just that and married that man. And on July 17th, 1972, she had a beautiful baby girl, named Lisa Marie Thompson, that right there is my mom guys! Isn't she just perfect?
A few years later, November 16th, 1974, Connie and Kenny had another baby, a boy, named Josh Thompson. He becomes my favorite uncle just so you know!
I could go on and on from here about how my grandmother also had to endure a lot from having an emotionally abusive husband who drank too much, but I'm gonna try to speed through that, not to delve on too much anguish, they got divorced on July 3rd, 1990.
A few years later Connie was working at Mergenthalers, a trucking company, as a payroll manager where she met John Clyde Beatty. I will tell you now that it was not love at first sight, but it grew into something, they fell into a first date by accident where he was a clumsy dancer and she was just having a good time. My grandma thought he was a weirdo at first but after that first date when he kissed her for the first time they never stopped dating. Their relationship grew into something more and they became best friends soon after they became husband and wife, on April 15th, 1994. <--- This was 11 months after I was born! At this moment, I want you viewers to understand at how much my grandmother means to me and then add to that my grandpa John! These two were made for each other and they are still together this day, living in Bouquet Panama! They're crazy, because they left me and I can't fly down to see them and I miss them dearly. But they are doing great still happy and in love and still best friends. Another great thing is how much I see mine and my husbands relationship as similar to theirs. It's also quite weird of how much my grandpa and husband are alike, but then I look at how much my grandma and I are alike and it gives me that assurance and hope that I am going to be fine. If I am anything like my grandmother, which I know that I am, I am going to get through this world and it's struggles just fine!
